7 steps to Overcome Betrayal?
Betrayal is a very hard feeling to go through especially when you work your best to maintain a good relationship .Very often, we try to retain the relationship through proving ourselves and pleasing partners in dating/married relationships. In spite of all this, the relationship still does not improve and we feel lost.
According to the definition of betrayal , it is the sense of being harmed by the intentional actions or omissions of a trusted person.It is caused when someone whom you trust completely leaves, hurts or harms you in a painful way for their own selfish interest.
Knowing that you have been betrayed is a very painful feeling to go through.When we get drowned into this feeling, we become sorrowful and helpless and sometimes also start blaming ourselves for being unable to sustain a relationship. This causes self criticism arising from trauma related guilt and shame which later develops to acute mental health issues and various physical health issues later.
How can you carry on with your life after going through a devastating betrayal in your life?
Today, I will share with you how to move on after going through a betrayal in life.
- 1. Acceptance — The emotions after betrayal are often painful. They are responses from our brain that inform us that attention is required .Instead of avoiding or ignoring them, take some time to accept them.
- 2. Forgive — After a betrayal, most often we start judging our actions and believing that we are responsible for everything that has happened.However, instead of criticizing yourself forgive yourself.
- 3. Remove Triggers — The memories from the betrayal are hard to erase and often get triggered through various ways. So, it is important to identify the triggers and remove them if possible. For example — This includes deleting messages, photos, emails and social media data that reminds you and lead you to overthinking .
- 4. Talk it out — Many times, when we are going through betrayal it is helpful to consult a Coach or a Therapist to feel better and develop identify various strategies to overcome the painful emotions and also gain clarity on the direction forward.
- 5. Celebrate — Celebrate for having been able to survive through the betrayal . Take more time to self care and use it as an opportunity to give you additional love and attention to recover from the painful experiences .
- 6. Surround — Surround yourself with support groups that includes family and friends who can help you overcome this situation courageously.
- 7. Journal lessons learned — Look at your experience and note all the lessons that the painful betrayal has taught you.For example — Make a note of the lessons and the preventive measures that can help protect you from betrayal in the future.
We are the best people who know our worth more than anybody else in the world. Betrayal or rejection is not an end, it is the beginning of a new journey that has a new destination waiting for you to conquer. So, don’t let anyone in this world take your worth away from you. When you are living completely by someone’s wishes and not yours then you are just allowing someone else to define you . Rather, take control of your worth so that you define how you want to be treated.
Nobody can hurt you without your permission — Mahatma Gandhi